I have no problem getting most places on my own, even dragging a double stroller and miscellaneous packages. But my friends and neighbors feel an obligation to help me even though I never ask. And no one likes to feel obligated to help a nebach. Even a mistakenly classified nebach.
Now if I run into anyone out, they apologize for not being able to take me home. If I mention in passing a store I visited or something I bought, they apologize for not taking me. I'm contemplating turning down all offers of rides and letting it be known that not only am I happy to continue busing, that it's preferable to being a chauffeured leper. Better to have friends & good leg muscles, than convenience and uncomfortable interactions.
Anyone else find that people are uncomfortable with someone else's lacking something, even if nothing is being solicited? I know that being the receiver is hard, but is there something to the plight of the givers? Or should-be-a-giver guilt?
Is it harder to give or receive?
I don't drive. I never have. It's never really been an issue since I've always lived places with great public transportation. Now it's really putting a crimp in my social life, and not for the usual reason.
I have no problem getting most places on my own, even dragging a double stroller and miscellaneous packages. But my friends and neighbors feel an obligation to help me even though I never ask. And no one likes to feel obligated to help a nebach. Even a mistakenly classified nebach.
Now if I run into anyone out, they apologize for not being able to take me home. If I mention in passing a store I visited or something I bought, they apologize for not taking me. I'm contemplating turning down all offers of rides and letting it be known that not only am I happy to continue busing, that it's preferable to being a chauffeured leper. Better to have friends & good leg muscles, than convenience and uncomfortable interactions.
Anyone else find that people are uncomfortable with someone else's lacking something, even if nothing is being solicited? I know that being the receiver is hard, but is there something to the plight of the givers? Or should-be-a-giver guilt?
Is it harder to give or receive?
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment