Plagued during Passover

This year's celebration was much less eventful than the last. I cut 1/5 less fingers. All of our wall fixtures remained in place. And no one was poisoned. That I know of.

We had our flops to be sure. Note for next year: 1) resist hubster's persuasive tactics and do not attempt to make his mother's chocolate cake recipe. 2) Especially when missing some of the ingredients. 3) In case #1 is disregarded, do not attempt to remedy #2 with ill-conceived substitutions.

Some winners included the frozen meatloaf I revitalized with brisket juice. I figured, what couldn't be made better with brisket juice? The answer: NOTHING! It was the best meatloaf I've ever had. Ever.

The other winner was so cool, it will warrant it's own Droolworthy Doodads post. It was fantabulous! Stay tuned!

This year's celebration was much less eventful than the last. I cut 1/5 less fingers. All of our wall fixtures remained in place. And no one was poisoned. That I know of.

We had our flops to be sure. Note for next year: 1) resist hubster's persuasive tactics and do not attempt to make his mother's chocolate cake recipe. 2) Especially when missing some of the ingredients. 3) In case #1 is disregarded, do not attempt to remedy #2 with ill-conceived substitutions.

Some winners included the frozen meatloaf I revitalized with brisket juice. I figured, what couldn't be made better with brisket juice? The answer: NOTHING! It was the best meatloaf I've ever had. Ever.

The other winner was so cool, it will warrant it's own Droolworthy Doodads post. It was fantabulous! Stay tuned!

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Conversations with a Toddler: The one that proves 3yo is FFB*

*FFB = frum from birth, ortho-lingo for raised religious.

I wasn't raised with religion. I know that sounds hard to believe, but since my parents wanted me to make my own decisions about religion we didn't discuss or participate in religion until I was in high school and my dad worried we'd fall prey to some cult if we didn't have some kind of background in something to pull from.

Well, today I had a conversation with my 3year-old that I couldn't have participated in until after I was 20 years old.

dd: How can Aba (daddy) be the king?

me: Because he's the Aba of the house, that makes him king.

dd: But how can there be two kings?

Already a deep concept.

me: There aren't two kings, Aba is the king and Ima (me, mommy) is the queen. That's it.

dd: But Hashem (G-d) is the King.

Stunned silence.

me: That's true, Hashem is the King of the whole world and Aba is king of this house.

Wow. So exciting and validating to know my children are getting a head start on all the questioning I navigated in college. Course I hope I always know the right thing to say even when I don't have the answers!

*FFB = frum from birth, ortho-lingo for raised religious.

I wasn't raised with religion. I know that sounds hard to believe, but since my parents wanted me to make my own decisions about religion we didn't discuss or participate in religion until I was in high school and my dad worried we'd fall prey to some cult if we didn't have some kind of background in something to pull from.

Well, today I had a conversation with my 3year-old that I couldn't have participated in until after I was 20 years old.

dd: How can Aba (daddy) be the king?

me: Because he's the Aba of the house, that makes him king.

dd: But how can there be two kings?

Already a deep concept.

me: There aren't two kings, Aba is the king and Ima (me, mommy) is the queen. That's it.

dd: But Hashem (G-d) is the King.

Stunned silence.

me: That's true, Hashem is the King of the whole world and Aba is king of this house.

Wow. So exciting and validating to know my children are getting a head start on all the questioning I navigated in college. Course I hope I always know the right thing to say even when I don't have the answers!

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Tot shabbat recap

B"H (Thank the L-rd Alm-ghty!!) I survived my first Tot Shabbat. We had no snacks, no handouts, and 10x the number of kids I was expecting thanks to a local bar mitzvah that brought people from all over the country into our little shul. The age range was much different than our usual group as well.

I have no idea how I will survive when my kids hit that "too cool" age where nothing is fun.

"This game is boring"

"I don't want to hear that book"

"This is for babies!"

I tried a bit of hubster's psychology on them and said that when you come to something expecting it to stink, you are rarely disappointed. How much better to come expecting fun! Who said you can't talk to children like adults? The change was slight as they creeped back into the activities and I integrated them into helper roles as a little balm on their mini-egos.

But after a few false starts we had a good time with games and stories. The singing didn't go over so well. I'm not very musical, I'm a BT who doesn't know too many Jewish songs in general, let alone kiddie ones, and I'm better accompanied by anything more than just the chirruping of crickets. And people thing the American Idol judges are harsh critics!

They may take the wind out of my sails, but they'll never take my dignity!

B"H (Thank the L-rd Alm-ghty!!) I survived my first Tot Shabbat. We had no snacks, no handouts, and 10x the number of kids I was expecting thanks to a local bar mitzvah that brought people from all over the country into our little shul. The age range was much different than our usual group as well.

I have no idea how I will survive when my kids hit that "too cool" age where nothing is fun.

"This game is boring"

"I don't want to hear that book"

"This is for babies!"

I tried a bit of hubster's psychology on them and said that when you come to something expecting it to stink, you are rarely disappointed. How much better to come expecting fun! Who said you can't talk to children like adults? The change was slight as they creeped back into the activities and I integrated them into helper roles as a little balm on their mini-egos.

But after a few false starts we had a good time with games and stories. The singing didn't go over so well. I'm not very musical, I'm a BT who doesn't know too many Jewish songs in general, let alone kiddie ones, and I'm better accompanied by anything more than just the chirruping of crickets. And people thing the American Idol judges are harsh critics!

They may take the wind out of my sails, but they'll never take my dignity!

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Tot Shabbat ideas?

So the hubsters and I are excited to be more involved in our new community. One of the first things is that I am the new Tot Shabbat teacher. I have never led, nor attended a Tot Shabbat, but since I was willing & able that made me qualified enough I guess! Here's what I envision: a little davening by song, talk about the parsha, some games (maybe or maybe not shabbos/parsha related), then some more shabbos songs. I have no idea what ages will be there beyond my two toddlers and a few of the rabbi's kids. Anyone have any ideas? Anything I'm forgetting? Words of wisdom? They'd be much appreciated!

So the hubsters and I are excited to be more involved in our new community. One of the first things is that I am the new Tot Shabbat teacher. I have never led, nor attended a Tot Shabbat, but since I was willing & able that made me qualified enough I guess! Here's what I envision: a little davening by song, talk about the parsha, some games (maybe or maybe not shabbos/parsha related), then some more shabbos songs. I have no idea what ages will be there beyond my two toddlers and a few of the rabbi's kids. Anyone have any ideas? Anything I'm forgetting? Words of wisdom? They'd be much appreciated!

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Reasons why I am not really Puerto Rican or Anglo/Jewish

ot PuertoRican because:

1. You are 2 generations from the island
2. Your mother is white
3. You are so white you probably glow in the dark!
4. Your Spanish is terrible! And what kind of accent is that I hear, Mexican?
5. You grew up in Texas, that is so American.
6. You put weird things in your carne guisado (barley, kiske) and call it cholent
7. You have relatives with names like Chana, Kevin, Jessica
8. We can't pronounce either of your first names (Jessica is Yessica and Yocheved is Jocheved)
9. You don't eat your grandmother's cooking? Not even lechon? (roast pork)
10. There aren't any Puerto Ricans that are Jewish

I am not Anglo/Jewish because:

1. You are only 2 generations from the island
2. Your Father is Puerto Rican
3. You have such big hips, lips & hair! And you tan!
4. Your Spanish is great! And what kind of accent is that I hear, authentic?
5. You grew up in Texas, that is so a different country.
6. You put weird things in your cholent (cilantro, cumin) and call it carne guisado
7. You have relatives with names like Jesus, Chewy (like the wookie?), Teotista, Jose
8. We can't pronounce your last name (Ruiz is Roo-is, Ruse, Ruz, or worse)
9. You once ate your grandmother's cooking? Even roast pork?
10. There aren't any Jews that are Puerto Rican
    

So basically I am a zorse. A little of this, a little of that, but too different to be completely accepted by either. Don't get be started on how I'm also a girly geek, and a just-plain-frummie!

ot PuertoRican because:

1. You are 2 generations from the island
2. Your mother is white
3. You are so white you probably glow in the dark!
4. Your Spanish is terrible! And what kind of accent is that I hear, Mexican?
5. You grew up in Texas, that is so American.
6. You put weird things in your carne guisado (barley, kiske) and call it cholent
7. You have relatives with names like Chana, Kevin, Jessica
8. We can't pronounce either of your first names (Jessica is Yessica and Yocheved is Jocheved)
9. You don't eat your grandmother's cooking? Not even lechon? (roast pork)
10. There aren't any Puerto Ricans that are Jewish

I am not Anglo/Jewish because:

1. You are only 2 generations from the island
2. Your Father is Puerto Rican
3. You have such big hips, lips & hair! And you tan!
4. Your Spanish is great! And what kind of accent is that I hear, authentic?
5. You grew up in Texas, that is so a different country.
6. You put weird things in your cholent (cilantro, cumin) and call it carne guisado
7. You have relatives with names like Jesus, Chewy (like the wookie?), Teotista, Jose
8. We can't pronounce your last name (Ruiz is Roo-is, Ruse, Ruz, or worse)
9. You once ate your grandmother's cooking? Even roast pork?
10. There aren't any Jews that are Puerto Rican
    

So basically I am a zorse. A little of this, a little of that, but too different to be completely accepted by either. Don't get be started on how I'm also a girly geek, and a just-plain-frummie!

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